Twitter is crack, and I'm a fiend.

Hi I'm Vince, and I'm addicted to Twitter, Facebook, texting, blogging, check in in to various businesses for no sane reason, and generally being socially retarded with those I'm not comfortable being myself around.  It's a pretty shitty thing to be constantly choosing to patronize businesses based on their available wifi, especially being a grown man who makes poor real life decisions on a whim but has deep internal conflict about going to a restaurant where I can't immediately "check in".  Why am I like this? Well the likely and easy answer is I'm a completely fucked in the head individual who makes trivial decisions the bane of my existence so to avoid dealing with my current life situation, which is oh so unsavory.  Quite honestly that may be the answer, and I'm totally okay with that.  Because if I am crazy, which is something I pretty much aspire to be, I feel at least my craziness is devoid of narcissism or sociopathic qualities. 

I know that I say things on all these social media sites that essentially go out to hundreds of strangers, but it's the content of what I'm saying that I like to think makes me different than the countless people that provide personal updates on things that literally only they could care about.  Maybe my tweets and updates aren't funny or profound every time, but my goal isn't to pander to idiots with "relatable" bullshit that means nothing to anybody! I'm trying to entertain, and that's all there is to it.  If you see a status or tweet you consider to be trivial and dumb such as such gems like "What a blessed day" or "It's snowing!", just settle down, and be quelled with the knowledge that clearly my account has been hijacked by a porn peddling robot. I won't ever back down, and if you follow someone who needs to be reminded that you don't give a fuck about their family, their shitty day, their worthless life that they're pushing on your innocent eyes, give me their handle, I'll lay into them free of charge, hell I get off on it. Cheers to putting complete strangers in their place! Now let's all get wasted and tweet about it!

Oh by the way check out this guy Matt Fulchiron (@thefullcharge on twitter, he's funny trust me)

God is a drunken sailor and we're all doomed

Listen guys, I really don't understand Foursquare.  I'm on it, I "check in", and I participate, but I have no legitimate reason why I do it other than to be a part of another technological, not advance, no way I use the word advance when talking about a network dedicated to telling other people where I am.  Nobody could possibly care where I am other than my mother, and she is the LAST person I want to know where I am in most cases.  So someone really needs to explain the benefit of being a part of it, other than getting 20% off my purchase of $10 or more at Pellegrinos, which would be cool if they had free wifi and if I was ever there with another person that would put our total over $10. 

Oh and by the way, my IPod is cracked. People have asked me how it happened numerous times, as if there is some kind of wild story behind it.  Well inquisitive sir or madam, it was pure insanity, you'll never believe this please sit down before reading these next three words: I dropped it.  Yeah I know, unbelievable right? I dropped my Ipod that has a glass screen as you may or may never know, and it cracked from the impact with the floor of a bar after falling out of my pocket.  So now you know, if you see someone with an IPod with a cracked screen, you don't have to ask what happened!  Unless it's someone who plays me in Words with Friends, then which they may have stomped it repeatedly out of sheer frustration.

I'm going to start putting Top 5s on here, I'll take suggestions too so comment or tell me via text or facebook! Here's my 1st one, Top 5 living comedians as my opinion states...

1. Daniel Tosh
2. Louis CK
3. David Cross
4. David Chappelle
5. Patton Oswalt

The Christmas Shoes song as told by #5 Patton Oswalt

Enjoy!