The woman alone at the bar and the asshole who made it happen

So I was at a bar the other night and I noticed a woman in her mid 40s (I guess, I was not sober so who knows) and she was alone at the bar.  Now she arrived at the bar around the same time me and my group of friends did, and whatever, she's waiting on her friends or a guy, I'm gonna drink and play poorly at darts, which, sidebar for a second, I suck at darts.  And I'm totally fine with playing darts and being shitty doing so, but it always seems like people get mad at me when I suck, even after telling me "oh it doesn't matter just play!". Inevitably I don't take it seriously, because it's fucking darts, and my teammate will always get frustrated! I just told you I sucked, and you completely disregarded that statement and handed me darts anyways. So you sir, are the asshole, not me. 

Anyways back to the lonely milf at the bar (milf is more appropriate than cougar here since this was not really a cougar bar perse, and she was attractive enough that I would indeed sleep with her, thus the milf moniker).  So as were playing a shitty game of darts, I start to notice, nobody is showing up to hang with this lady.  I start thinking of why she's by herself...did she come here to watch football? Seems far fetched that a woman her age would be dressed nicely to go to a bar by herself to watch Tebow get massacred by the Patriots.  Was she meeting friends? Not likely since she's been here an hour, and she doesn't strike me as an alcoholic. 

No no, this girl is has stood up written all over her. So as I'm contemplating asking this woman what the deal is, because really she'd become a human interest for me at that point, I start thinking about this asshole (who still really may or may not exist, I never gathered the balls to talk to her because I wasn't quite drunk enough) and why he would do this to a seemingly nice person.  Now here's where I infer my own story, because all of this is predicated on the fact that she was indeed ditched by some douche bag.

What kind of piece of shit motherfucking asshole/bitch bails on a another person with no explanation, call, text, facebook message, etc.?  We live in an age of technology people, if someone doesn't respond to your text within 24 hours (That's being really liberal, usually more like 4 hours if not during work hours) that means that person probably hates you or has no interest in ever hanging out with you. Or they're a drug addict. Or they lost their phone. Definitely one of those. 

But seriously why wouldn't you make up some bullshit excuse at least? That's a person you're ditching, they have feelings, let them know, don't let them drink alone at a fucking bar by themselves watching the shittiest playoff game of all time (slight exaggeration).  If you ditch a person on a date, I don't care if you met them online and have never actually met them, without some sort of forewarning, you are a gigantic piece of shit and I hate you.  Good luck with the whole not having a conscience thing and I hope someday you get excited to hang out with someone and they do the same god damn thing to you.

I don't mean mug, I shoulder shrug.

Well it's Monday, the nations most hated day of the calendar week, and for once it lives up to that billing for yours truly.  But that's not why I'm blogging for the first time since I was writing scathing messages directed at my football team the Philadelphia Eagles, really I have no reason other than time on my hands, and masturbation only takes up so much time so here I am.  So let's get to some news stories I'd like to comment on shall we? What's up with this Herman Cain fellow? And is it just me or are this years group of Republican candidates even more laughably bad than Bush could have ever been.  Even Bob Dole thinks these guys, and alien cyborg Bachmann, are less interesting than a book about how string cheese is made.  As a registered democrat, I find myself at a loss for how candidates for president have gone the path of Adam Sandler movies; At first they were really good and pretty hilarious, and now they're just pathetic and sad.  I think even Bachmann and Perry would support abortion if it meant we would've killed Adam Sandler's career 10 years ago.  Seriously Adam, WHAT THE FUCK?, as your biggest fan into the early 2000s, why did you decide to face rape your loyal fans for the past decade?  I'm just waiting for your final film, you farting on a fans face while you wackoff into $100 bills.  So if anyone reading this decides it's a good idea to use precious time in your life to watch Jack & Jill, if you're too afraid to off yourself, do us all a favor and buy a ticket to a different movie so as to not continue the disease that is Sandler.  How about some sports commentary? Yeah? Let's do it.  Tim Tebow reminds me of the Cleveland Indians from Major League.  The whole organization wants him to fail so bad and they can't do it!  Look out for that team to cut their best players, hell they already unloaded their best WR Lloyd.  Watch them sign Tiki Barber this week, because their top 2 rbs are "hurt".  From now on I'm calling Tebow Christian Wild Thing.  You should too.  Time for some social commentary.  I'm sick of all forms of machismo, it is patently insecure douche bag behavior.  We get it dude, if you don't tell me that you would fuck every girl that walks past you at the mall, I might question your sexual preference and ridicule you for being different, but the fact is I'm going to do that anyways, and just because we happen to be standing next to each other, doesn't make us friends.  Go drown your insecurities at Heat, or Hush, or Vinyl, or whatever club you drones troll for pussy with daddy issues.  One more thing before I go. Last night at Applebees a lovely young bartender had a little trouble with what I presume was a daiquiri, and it shot out some liquid towards her.  If you don't know where this is headed, stop reading and watch The Office now.  She asked me, "Did it get in my hair?", to which I responded "No, but, that's what she said!" then I high fived my friends and I won the night. The end.

Oh and I may as well do weekly picks, so tonight's MNF affair I'll go Packers 34 Vikings 30.  Look out for Ponder, he looks an awful lot like that asshole who wouldn't go away.