The woman alone at the bar and the asshole who made it happen

So I was at a bar the other night and I noticed a woman in her mid 40s (I guess, I was not sober so who knows) and she was alone at the bar.  Now she arrived at the bar around the same time me and my group of friends did, and whatever, she's waiting on her friends or a guy, I'm gonna drink and play poorly at darts, which, sidebar for a second, I suck at darts.  And I'm totally fine with playing darts and being shitty doing so, but it always seems like people get mad at me when I suck, even after telling me "oh it doesn't matter just play!". Inevitably I don't take it seriously, because it's fucking darts, and my teammate will always get frustrated! I just told you I sucked, and you completely disregarded that statement and handed me darts anyways. So you sir, are the asshole, not me. 

Anyways back to the lonely milf at the bar (milf is more appropriate than cougar here since this was not really a cougar bar perse, and she was attractive enough that I would indeed sleep with her, thus the milf moniker).  So as were playing a shitty game of darts, I start to notice, nobody is showing up to hang with this lady.  I start thinking of why she's by herself...did she come here to watch football? Seems far fetched that a woman her age would be dressed nicely to go to a bar by herself to watch Tebow get massacred by the Patriots.  Was she meeting friends? Not likely since she's been here an hour, and she doesn't strike me as an alcoholic. 

No no, this girl is has stood up written all over her. So as I'm contemplating asking this woman what the deal is, because really she'd become a human interest for me at that point, I start thinking about this asshole (who still really may or may not exist, I never gathered the balls to talk to her because I wasn't quite drunk enough) and why he would do this to a seemingly nice person.  Now here's where I infer my own story, because all of this is predicated on the fact that she was indeed ditched by some douche bag.

What kind of piece of shit motherfucking asshole/bitch bails on a another person with no explanation, call, text, facebook message, etc.?  We live in an age of technology people, if someone doesn't respond to your text within 24 hours (That's being really liberal, usually more like 4 hours if not during work hours) that means that person probably hates you or has no interest in ever hanging out with you. Or they're a drug addict. Or they lost their phone. Definitely one of those. 

But seriously why wouldn't you make up some bullshit excuse at least? That's a person you're ditching, they have feelings, let them know, don't let them drink alone at a fucking bar by themselves watching the shittiest playoff game of all time (slight exaggeration).  If you ditch a person on a date, I don't care if you met them online and have never actually met them, without some sort of forewarning, you are a gigantic piece of shit and I hate you.  Good luck with the whole not having a conscience thing and I hope someday you get excited to hang out with someone and they do the same god damn thing to you.

Texting, eating, drinking (soda)...oh and driving.

You ever have like a brush with death and you get that super panicked feeling inside for just a moment? It's the moment where apparently your life is supposed to flash before your eyes and you're supposed to thank a higher power that you didn't get T-Boned by an 18 wheeler if you weren't aware.  Either that is just another bullshit creation of the media or I have a weird response to my mortality.  I swear every time I have those brushes with the grim reaper I just find myself being extraordinarily annoyed by the way dangerous situation that has happened upon me. 

I swear I hit black ice last year and spun around on the expressway and all the while I was doing 360s with my 99 Ford Taurus I was just thinking "Shit, really? Black ice takes me out? How fucking lame" Then I came to rest and I was fine but still I don't remember feeling any terror or fear.

I'm not saying that because I'm tough because I'm not I'm actually a major pussy in typical situations where fear is an expected human emotion.  I just don't want to die in a stupid way is that too much to ask? Another thing is I'm me and if you know me then you're going to make assumptions what caused me to careen into a concrete median. 

Honestly guys if I go out while I'm driving, it's going to be an embarrassing story that involves an unnecessary text, Mcdonalds fries, and possibly reaching for my Ipod that fell on the passenger seat floor so I can change the song from the shitty Sara Bareilles song I downloaded (Paid for) to the even shittier Selena Gomez song I downloaded (Illegally).

Decided I'll do a weekly Top 5 because I am not so surprisingly lazy.

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