Wine and sandwiches

So for as long as I've been a fan of the NFL, there has always been an uproar for the unveiling of commercials at the Super Bowl.  Companies pay insane amounts of money to throw some shitty 30 second advertisement in the middle of the most hyped sporting event in America.  Notice I don't say world, since nobody outside this country, gives a damn about the NFL.  But back to the commercials, they're not supposed to be "shitty" they're supposed to be the best of the year.  The day after the game all the major media outlets do rankings for the commercials that were supposedly the best.

Now I'd be lying to you if I didn't admit to being excited for the commercials in previous years, what with my Philadelphia Eagles never being there so the game itself meant nothing, but I'm all done folks.  I realized recently that getting excited for advertisements for beer, life insurance, mixed nuts, and Doritos, was definitely one of the more depressing aspects of my life.  Now every so often, there are funny commercials, just like every so often you hear a song on a pop radio station you like, but that doesn't mean your family has to yell "shhhhhh!!" when the game goes to commercial.

Commercials are still advertisements for shit that you don't even need to know about.  We're all American adults, we know about Budweiser, we know about Doritos, and for the love of everything horrible to ever exist, we know about the repugnant, and offensively stupid Godaddy(Which for the record if you ever went to the site to "see more", I'm honestly astonished you read this far so congratulations!).  So that means every advertisement is essentially for kids, and as you just read and can easily deduce, those advertisements were for beer, empty calories, and tits. Gotta love it America, let's go Lions(50-1 odds go put 5 on them like I did)! And in case you didn't like this article, here's a commercial for Doritos!

You're gonna die clown!

So, I've been a sports fan for as long as I can remember, paying attention to scores, games, what have you, for no real purpose that I can explain to a rationally thinking person.  My biggest "vice" is the Philadelphia Eagles, who continue to be the bane of my existence in every way.  They say that art imitates life(pretty sure that's the quote, call it 80% sure) and in that vain, I have taken that idea to the most extreme of extremes. 

For whatever reason I tend to notice similarities between my life and the Eagles on a regular basis.  Let's start with the basics:

The Eagles have never won the Super Bowl...they always come up short and are usually just good enought to get my hopes up every single year.  If I'm being pessimistic about my life, which is always good fun, I believe that the Eagles futility somehow reflects onto me as a person and creates this totally irrational feeling that no matter what I do, I will never achieve ultimate success.

Now that in and of itself is completely stupid and anyone reading this probably thinks I'm either an idiot or a lunatic or both, and you're probably half right with that assessment.  But recently it's actually become a fun game for me to distract me from reality.  Truth is, my reality is I'm a broke single college grad living with my parents.  Not exactly the definition of success in any way shape or form.  But I'm hardly mopey about it, well sometimes but I am human(I think), so when shit gets real I do get down from time to time.  But that reality does not bum me out for long because living life is a distraction in many ways.  Is it unrealistic to believe that the success of a bunch of highly paid athletes performing poorly somehow correlates to myself being unsuccessful in the dating world? Of course it is!  But what fun would it be to just talk about how all my problems are a direct result of my own personal actions? None at all I say. 

So what if I believe the consummation and subsequent end of my longest relationship was a mirror image of the Donovan Mcnabb era in Philadelphia?  It's not supposed to make sense to you, it's supposed to make you laugh.  And that people, is what nearly everything I do is about.  So I submit to you the reader to please have fun with life, distract yourself from our shitty government problems, and maybe consider relating your life to something totally ridiculous, it works for me.

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