Hating the people on the TV box

The other day my cousin said he hated Kim Kardashian.  Now on the surface this seems like a perfectly logical statement about a preening, famous because her dad and her ridiculous hindquarters(ASS) and sex tapes with C list musicians, super slutbot with the personality of drywall, but dig deeper and realize hating this insignificant silicone moron is quite pointless and not worth any of our time.  I don't have enough time in my day to exercise hate towards a person I've a) never met and b) has zero effect on my day to day life.

We say it all the time, "hate is a strong word". Not as strong as violence, but still a fairly strong word in our vast dictionary of muscle bound words.  It's a strong emotion to feel hate towards someone, but hate can be both rational and irrational.  You can hate a general class of people or race, the latter making you a racist of course, the former for example would be hating the general clientele of Lady Jane's.  Neither can be considered really rational since like I said about the Kardashian bitch, you really don't know those people.  You know what they're about in general and you can stereotype of course, but that's pretty ignorant wouldn't you say?

Now the fun part, rational hate! I hate small talk! I hate going to JD Oxfords! I hate the options I have to be elected president of our country! I hate stupid motherfuckers! Ahhhhh that feels so good! See what I'm doing here? I have a passionate emotional feeling of negativity towards things I have first hand experienced and decided that those things inspire anger, frustration, and general unhappiness within me when I am subjected to them.  So now think about some things you think you hate (I thought of some things I thought I hated too for example mushrooms(nonpsychadellic!) I don't hate them I just dislike their taste, in other words, mushrooms don't upset me when they're in my food.) and think about if you really hate those things, people, and yes, the people on your television and radio.

Do you hate Ke$ha? Or are you just mad that a no talent super skank has a shit ton of money you will never in your life get to see? I for one, fall into the latter. So fuck that bitch, she doesn't get the hate from me, just grotesque envy of her vast wealth achieved by incomprehensible means.

Now a funny video I hope you don't HATE!

Brick where'd you get a grenade?

I love stereotypes.  I don't judge people solely based on them, but I find it is very accurate in certain cases.  We can all pretend to subscribe to the notion of judging a book by its cover, but the truth of the matter is we see a Mexican janitor and we're not thinking "that guy probably mows through a lot of Dostoevsky", no, we're thinking "that guy probably mows a mean lawn".  Racist? Yeah probably, but it's just something we deal with on a daily basis.  The same way we typically think people look smarter when they wear glasses, and as far as I know my intelligence does not magically increase when I throw on my cheap spectacles, although they should work on a way to make that happen immediately. 

This brings me to the customer base of a haircut chain called Lady Jane's.  I had the "pleasure" of watching people go in and out of that place for a solid 4 hours (I work next door to their place) and boy, it didn't do a lot to dismiss the notion that every person that goes there has major insecurity issues and is in desperate need of a strong woman in their life.  I totally get the idea of having a cute girl cut my hair, I imagine it is a way better experience than an old man whose hair cutting skills are diminishing by the week, and what with the Penn St and Syracuse business, I'm pretty sure I have to look for another place to get my hair cut. 

But it's the way their commercials sell sex as literally the only reason to go there.  It's basically a horny guidos wet dream.  Which really makes me wonder why nobody has come up with a strip club hair salon.  We already cater to the lowest common denominator in every way i.e. Jeff Dunham, Cable Guy, Adam Sandler movies, fox cartoons, GOP candidates), so why not just go the extra mile and show some boobs to these sad souls with nothing more to live for.  I'm ok with it as long as it keeps them away from me and the reality I live in.  But no guy in the commercials, your place is not "Wicked Awesome". Go to hell.

Here's the video I see every time I see those guys

A lot of people on Twitter are remarkably dumb

If you don't know much about Twitter, it's a place people like myself go to say a few things that are on our minds at the moment.  It's like an orgy of thoughts, people saying whatever comes to their mind, and this can be really cool, but it can also be really bad.  One of the really bad parts about twitter is some people's constant need to say every god damn thing that happens to them as if their Twitter feed is some sort of low rent uninteresting reality show.  Some people are startlingly unaware of the fact that nobody cares that they hate their job, what music they're listening to, or where they're eating (Seriously I never knew how many narcissists existed before social networking, the number is staggering).  Listen, I'm sure I've said a lot of unfunny shit on Twitter, Facebook, etc, but I am trying to amuse people with every tweet.  It's like an open mic, some of it is received by crickets, other times I'll get a RT or 2 and feel really good.  Here's an example of a tweet that is so retarded, the Special Olympics called they want their IQ back...@Got_StupidJuice #Thosethreewords GImmie Dem Draws.  I'm just glad George Carlin wasn't around to see the complete and utter bastardization of the english language.  Just because there's 140 characters doesn't mean you have to be a complete and utter failure as a human being on display for the world to see.  Hopefully some people read this and learn, but more likely nobody will read and nobody will learn because that's the American way!

Good Luck Humanity

Video of the Day

Embarrassing song I listen to way too often

Judge me all you'd like, I enjoy it.