Thursday, December 11, 2014

Man Achieves Workout Goals to Mention Workout Goals to Friends

Frustrated by a lack of ability to sustain a workout regimen longer than two days, Brett Nicholson finally decided to stick to a workout goal he had set for himself by not working out but mentioning that he wanted to get back in shape to his friends and family whenever possible. "Ya know, I always found it so hard to motivate myself to keep going to the gym because of my anxiety and inherent laziness, but just talking about wanting to get in shape with anyone who will listen is going really well!"

After having tried posting pictures of himself at the gym and his one 5k he runs per year results on Facebook for "motivation," and keeping a log of his half mile runs on Twitter, Brett usually lost interest as he wasn't getting the expected "likes" and "favorites" on his posts. "I just couldn't maintain a strict routine with my own personal complete lack of will power, and without vague acquaintances and my grandma telling me how handsome I look, I really couldn't be expected to continue for the sake of self improvement alone. That's just not a realistic expectation." Friends of Brett expressed their feigned excitement for their friend's new resolution. Said friend Alex "I think it's great he's trying to improve himself by talking about improving himself more. It's a big improvement over when he constantly asks for affirmations of his intelligence and why he's still single."

Since he has started this new workout plan a few weeks ago, Brett has been to the gym just once, and he forgot his running shoes so he went home to catch up on the new season of "Fargo" after recently repurchasing a Netflix subscription. He plans on continuing to talk about his desire to improve his health and likely eating some fruit in the next few days and buying a multivitamin he will forget to take every day.

No comments:

Post a Comment