Last night I watched Young Adult, a movie about a sexy, interesting, albeit sociopathic woman (Charlize Theron, whose looks make her unmitigated lunacy tolerable) who for reasons only she understands, thinks it is a foregone conclusion that she will be with her old high school flame, even though this is over fifteen years later and he has a kid and wife. Patton Oswalt's character attempts to help her see the folly of her plan, but she can't even comprehend the idea that it won't work. Such is the way of all the sociopaths we know right?
So what is it that is missing from sociopaths brain that makes them this way? From what I've experienced with people I suspect of having this mental illness, I don't think it is a total lack of emotional attachment. In fact these people seem to become so fixated on certain people that their emotions are directly related to how those people view them. Their biggest fear is that those people who validate their misguided point of view, in most cases out of fear of hurting the sociopaths feelings, will leave them behind in life.
My thinking is most sociopaths are extremely depressed, but are completely unaware of that fact. Their relationships are all hollow and have no real meaning because simply put, people don't trust them, and why would we? These are people that will take every advantage of us and not feel an ounce of guilt about doing so. Their concern for our well being is shallow and selfish, since the only reason they have us as a friend is to validate their warped view of reality like I said earlier.
Yet typically we all have a friend or two like this, and it's not because we need them, not even close. Our lives would be better off, sometimes dramatically better, as this is always a one way relationship which benefits only the sociopath. So why do we allow these people into our lives and have such a difficult time separating from them? Because we're not sociopaths. Because we care about the well being of people, and because of that fact we think it our duty to help these people in whatever way we can. But the harsh reality is we can't do anything.
So in the end of the movie (Spoiler alert), and as is the case with sociopaths, Therons character is completely depressed about her life, and in comes the concerned friend who tells her that all of her life is totally perfect and she doesn't need to change, and that is all she needs to hear.
Because for sociopaths, being right is all that matters, and it's not them that needs to change, it's everyone else. So if a sociopath is reading this, you're perfect! Disregard everything I just wrote and continue on with your awesome life!