Thursday, January 12, 2012

A conversation between me and my cat Mojames (Cat's perspective)

Me: Mo Mo!
Mojames: Yes, that is my name what uh whats up?
Me: Shmosh
Mojames: Yes we've established that my name is indeed a variation of mojames.
Me: What u doin?
Mojames: Uh kinda just walking around here as I do every day because you've basically made leaving verboten, and like I don't have a lot of job opportunities what with being locked in this house since forever so I'm kinda dependent on you people for sustenance. Fuckin sucks man.
Me: you're so damn cute!
Mojames: Thanks I appreciate the compliment I guess but I honestly have no concept of attractiveness, have you seen other cats? we all look exactly the same.  I'll honestly fuck anything at this point, and that includes your pillow.
Me: You're the best cat ever Mo!
Mojames: Really? I mean hooray I guess but what did I do? Be cute? Jesus you're fucking shallow, is nothing important other than my looks.
Me: Why are you so awesome?
Mojames: *Sigh* I...gotta get goin. can you please open your bedroom door so I can just leave without a fight.
*I pick him up and hug him*
Mojames: damnit, alright yay cool ya love me please just let me go!
*I set him down and let him out the door*
Mojames: I'll see ya in 5 minutes...

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