Gourmet Cupcakes & Scrabble

So I saw a bumper sticker that said "I play scrabble...and I Vote!" Which amazed me because I figured that the board game demographic was pretty much the most dependable for community participation.  I mean the average Scrabble player is about 92 years old and pretty much their priorities are play scrabble, vote, and try not to shit their pants.  One of those is far more difficult than the other two, which is why Depends exist.  How is there even a market for that kind of obvious bumper sticker? Here are some other bumper sticker ideas I'm sure they missed out on:
- I live in Detroit...and I'm unemployed!
- I go to Syracuse...and I've had sex with Laura and Bernie Fine!
- I live in Arkansas...and my wife is my sister!
- I live in America...and I subscribe to the illusion that my vote counts!

Anyways my friend told me the other night that people have the false notion that he is the type of person who eats gourmet cupcakes.  Now I don't know a single person on the face of the earth that I would ever peg as a "gourmet cupcake guy" because that conversation would never happen between two people. I offer this fictional scenario:
Guy 1 : Dude I bet you that dude loves cupcakes.
Guy 2: Nah, by the looks of him and the way he talks and acts, he definitely doesn't just eat any cupcake. This guy is all about handmade, upscale restaurant, gourmet motherfucking cupcakes.
Guy 1: Is this conversation really happening?
Guy 2: I guess in some one's vast imagination, it already did.

Before I go, just know that if you ever overhear a old person tell someone they don't have any change, you tell them they're full of shit, and you rob them.

Happy Holidays everybody!

RIP Patrice

A lot of people on Twitter are remarkably dumb

If you don't know much about Twitter, it's a place people like myself go to say a few things that are on our minds at the moment.  It's like an orgy of thoughts, people saying whatever comes to their mind, and this can be really cool, but it can also be really bad.  One of the really bad parts about twitter is some people's constant need to say every god damn thing that happens to them as if their Twitter feed is some sort of low rent uninteresting reality show.  Some people are startlingly unaware of the fact that nobody cares that they hate their job, what music they're listening to, or where they're eating (Seriously I never knew how many narcissists existed before social networking, the number is staggering).  Listen, I'm sure I've said a lot of unfunny shit on Twitter, Facebook, etc, but I am trying to amuse people with every tweet.  It's like an open mic, some of it is received by crickets, other times I'll get a RT or 2 and feel really good.  Here's an example of a tweet that is so retarded, the Special Olympics called they want their IQ back...@Got_StupidJuice #Thosethreewords GImmie Dem Draws.  I'm just glad George Carlin wasn't around to see the complete and utter bastardization of the english language.  Just because there's 140 characters doesn't mean you have to be a complete and utter failure as a human being on display for the world to see.  Hopefully some people read this and learn, but more likely nobody will read and nobody will learn because that's the American way!

Good Luck Humanity

Video of the Day

Embarrassing song I listen to way too often

Judge me all you'd like, I enjoy it.