Best of Twitter 8/22-8/28

Another installment of Best Tweets of the week! No rankings this week, but this is a top 10, so everyone else gets a honorable mention if they tweeted something decent or got a favorite out of yours truly, and if you sucked all week well what can I say? Delete your account I guess.

@ShelbyFero

A kid at this Welcome Week concert just said "on the outside I'm young but on the inside I'm old." On the outside I'm saying "fuck you."

@ChaseMit

Probably a bad sign if you ask your doctor if you have cancer and he says “big time”

@Australianimal

At a job interview: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years" "in a mirror, just like I do today, duhhhh" "you're hired, here's $192,000"

@MattGoldich

Hey cool guy, don't audibly say "Wow" when you see a hot girl. You'll freak her out. Just make eye contact with her and mouth "Wow".

@0ddFellow

"Oh snap, the old Free Credit Report .Com band is dissing the new band... shit's about to get cray" - King Of All Ass Hats

@broseichas

No i do not wanna funnel a mountain dew

@3x1minus1

Piers Morgan is interviewing Jeff Foxwothy about a bible game show. America, wtf are we even doing anymore?

@TheKidJeremy

Working with Spike Jones on my new documentary where I try to meet Neve Campbell & Denise Richards called Where the Wild Things Are.

@ThatDJGallo
As always, I will vote for whichever presidential candidate promises to do the time change thingy were it's light later in the day all year.

@annielederman

At the Zoo instead of the gym. Pretty much the same. I'm sweaty, thirsty &considering letting one of these hairy animals rip off my spandex.