Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Girls are pretty

I wouldn't say I'm egotistical but I don't often give thought to things that don't affect me in some way.  I think that's pretty normal but something we don't really acknowledge because it sounds so self centered and not endearing.  But it is totally true, because more often than not I do give great thought to how my decisions will affect me.  It just varies on long term effect and short term effect.  My problem is that I think long term but can only make effective decisions for myself in the short term.  For example, when I have a desire, whether it be to write a screenplay, run a 5k race, or forget those two previous ideas and write a blog, I act on that with the intent on making myself happy at the current moment. The only time we really regret things is when they're still affecting us after they happened.  (Editors note: Vince just went on facebook for 10 minutes, then he typed this because he thought that was amusing. Third person is fun.) For example if I go see a shitty movie, which is quite often these days, I pay for a ticket, lose that hour and a half, and go on with my life.  Maybe I shit on the movie to people but in general I forget I even saw it (Yeah Contagion, I forgot I even watched your overrated garbage movie, you're fucking irrelevant!)

But I'm talking about decisions that will shit on you for years and years.  Relationships. Jobs. A degree you take out private loans to pay for and gets you nowhere.  You may notice some bitterness on that last one, and that's good because it's quite palpable.  So if you ask me if I regret going to a private school for a degree I'm currently having finding no use for other than a coaster in my room at my moms house where I live at age 24, I'll answer it in two parts.  Yes I regret having to shell out $300+ each month for that coaster/degree, no doubt about it I am not doing well enough in life to piss away that kind of money on the equivalent to having a fucking star named after me.  But no I don't regret making that horrible decision because now I'm forced to deal with it every day.  And that makes me who I am today.  Do I believe in fate? I don't know really, I just believe things are going to happen, and every day that I continue to be able to say and do whatever I want really, is a pretty good day.  You worry me America, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Now go back to your regularly scheduled binge eating.

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